Barry Sorensen
One star is generous. Avoid.
Where to begin? The filth. This is, without exaggeration, the dirtiest resort I have ever stayed in. I have been to muddy music festivals with porta-loos that had a higher standard of hygiene. Every area was consistently disgusting: the apartment, the pool, the restaurant, the bar — all filthy.
Cleaning appears to be largely theoretical. Floors were stained and sticky, surfaces untouched, and when a cleaner did eventually arrive (after multiple complaints), they filmed the apartment, swept away a few bits of dried food that were already there when we arrived, and left. No mopping, no wiping, no actual cleaning. On the rare occasions staff wandered around with a mop, it was so dirty and foul-smelling it actively made things worse.
Next: the atmosphere. As many recent reviews have said, this place is feral. Children run completely unsupervised at all hours while parents drink continuously at the bar. Later in the evening, the roles reverse: parents run wild while the kids look on with a mixture of embarrassment and quiet resignation. Loud music blares late into the night, mere metres from apartments that offer zero sound insulation.
The pool area is chaos. All-day drinking, smoking everywhere (despite designated smoking areas), and absolutely no enforcement of rules. Children swimming after dark with no supervision, no lifeguards, and no staff intervention. The pool itself was visibly dirty — cups, paper, cigarette butts, and other unidentifiable debris floating around all day. Nobody appeared to clean or monitor it.
The surrounding walkways and poolside areas are dangerous. Broken tiles, rough concrete, and litter everywhere. Walking barefoot is genuinely risky unless you enjoy the idea of a tetanus shot as a holiday souvenir.
Food-wise: the main buffet was acceptable if you arrived early while it was still hot and vaguely fresh. The pool bar food, however, is a public health experiment. Cold food left sitting in the sun for hours, repeatedly handled by both adults and children, picked up, put back, and pawed over. Do not eat it. Seriously.
The biggest disappointment is that none of this was addressed. We raised multiple complaints during our stay and received no meaningful response. Despite repeated attempts, we have still had no contact from the hotel manager, Miguel.
Playa Blanca itself is a fantastic destination — beautiful, relaxed, with excellent restaurants and genuinely good accommodation available nearby. This resort is not one of them. Do yourself a favour and stay literally anywhere else.
Kevin Goddard
I'm at a bit of a loss as to why there's so many negative reviews here. I can only assume people came with unrealistic expectations as I thought it was absolutely fine. 10 of us on a family holiday - rooms were basic but fine, clean enough and a good size (myself and my wife plus two teenagers had plenty of space). Facilities fine, kids loved the waterpark (VERY cold water though!). We had some fussy eaters and everyone could find plenty they liked to eat - didn't vary much for breakfast/lunch on a day to day basis but loads of different things available. Dinner had different stuff each evening - bit hit and miss quality-wise but generally pretty decent. Staff were really helpful and friendly, any requests/issues got dealt with efficiently. Don't go expecting 5 star luxury and you'll be fine. Sure, there was the odd idiot who drank too much etc. but that's hardly something the hotel can control. Easy enough to stay away from/ignore.
Hamish Simpson
Pool was filthy every time grand children went into pool came out with foreign objects , round the pool wasn't any better . The rooms yer adged,there was a leak in ceiling because it was raining took someone 3 day to come and only look and went away never seen again the ceiling was starting to break up . Restaurants was like cattle market with food lying about floor under tables and beside food display , staff yer mainly ignorant and on occasion the staff carried garbage through restraint . The reception staff were all lovely friendly and very helpful. Only 1 person on reception which caused lengthy ques . If this hotel is 4 star they bought at least 2 stars ...
Filipe Gomes
Very disappointing stay – would not recommend
I just returned from a one-week all inclusive stay, and it was a huge disappointment from start to finish. It’s honestly hard to know where to begin — everything from the food to the cleanliness and maintenance was below any acceptable standard.
The food was extremely repetitive, with very little variety and poor quality. Most dishes were clearly reheated or reused — for example, today it’s plain chicken, tomorrow chicken curry, and the next day chicken pasta. Nothing tasted fresh. My wife even found an insect in the salad, reported it, and all they did was remove the tray — no apology, no action taken.
Cleanliness was terrible. You could see food from the previous day still on the counters, and even birds eating inside the canteen where guests collect their meals. The sunbeds were dirty, many with mold. Our room was only cleaned once during a 7-night stay. The hallways to the bungalows had almost no lighting, making it difficult and unsafe to walk at night.
Around the pool, there were rusty metal covers and holes in the ground — I personally saw three children injure their feet badly enough to bleed and need assistance.
To make matters worse, most of the staff barely speak or understand English, which is a serious issue when around 90% of the guests were English during our stay. The hotel is also very isolated and far from everything.
Overall, this was one of the worst all inclusive experiences we’ve ever had — poor food, poor hygiene, poor maintenance, and poor service. Definitely not worth the money.
Karen Chapman
Hi peeps Karen here;all ready for a Karen report then I'll begin:
Paradise ?? Definetely NOT if this is paradise then I pray I go to hell.!
Firstly given a room not suitable was then given a filthy unkempt disgusting room, next stop;; hotels supermarket to purchase much needed cleaning materials to do deep clean, served by miserable shop staff who definetely need customer service courses. And lessons in how to smile then after buying a inflatable was pointed rudely to a air machine to blow up myself thanks to a fellow brit the day was saved.
Back to the deep clean thought I was on holiday!!
Water only hot at certain times. Reported electricity had gone off was told to flick the switch, I aint no sparky! Ac to hotel we didn't have any leccy for three days as no one came to check obviously I flicked the switch !!
Every night we had little guests to help us eat the food all feathered and flying above. Not to mention the cock roach s! This hotels on a par with the Maramar hotel in Turkey.
Mini disco due to torrential storm-the weather was the least of our worries, was held one night at the top of the stairs no safety or health restrictions in lanzarote obviously.discussed this with manager who performed a very good parrot act kept repeating why the mini disco was inside!!! Reception not enough staff and the staff that were present were rude and miserable. The barman threw a drink in my direction one night when I had the audacity to ask for a clean cup .
Over and put peeps Karen
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My Booking
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